It has been quite some time since I have written anything and alot has been going on with me.  As you know this is my last year of school.  I am looking forward to being done.  I had an interview thusday morning with a company for a possible job in Elgin.  There are other companies that I am interested in that is for sure.  However, it was comforting to that this could be a possible job.  I am going to dare to be real and move forward in life.  God is at my side.  Nothing is going to stand in my way or is standing in my way.  I am fighting everyday for what is right.  The power is in my hands and God's.  He gives me the strength that I need everyday to move forward and make a difference.  I will survive and make a difference.  I do not care where I live, move, start my career, or travel around the world.  God is my compass and he orders my steps and directs my path.  This interview has renewed in me the strength that I needed to move forward and contact other companies about jobs.  Mark my words, I will make a difference and make my dreams come forth and be part of the music business industry in some way shape or form.  In life, there are individuals whom are thrown into your path which choose to determine your steps, order you around, give you advice, and tell you what you need to do to survive.  This is a bunch of crap.  The only person whom directions come from for me is God.  He directs my way.  I will serve him no matter what the cost.  As being a older leader this year in the NIU Steel Band, Intervarsity, Annex Group, and other groups people are looking to me for answers and it is not easy.  Those people whom look to me for advice seem to think that I have everything together.  The truth is that I do not have everything together.  I admit that I need help with things.  There are times when I get tired of being the one whom has to take charge all the time and lead others.  However, I know that God will take care of things and that he will strengthen me when I am weak.  I am still playing b-ball and running.  I am such a competitive person that it is crazy.  I am a prideful man and like control of things.  God will change this.  He will take control and determine how I am to walk.  I have begone to work on my thesis and final compositional projects.  It is awesome.  I have been single for quite sometime now.  I long for a relationship at times but you know what it is a good thing that I am single because I do not need to worry about someone's else's needs right now.  I want to do that later in life but not right now.  Today, I make a new propsal for myself and that is I am going to work so hard and get past myself and take charge of things so that people see this.  Nothing can stand in my way.

Matt

Things at work are not easy. There seems to be this co worker who wants to keep testing my patience and everything else every day. Last night, I came to the lodge to check my e-mail. I was minding my own business and then this co worker proceeds to yell at me about something. If you have a problem, the best way to solve it is to think, speak about it, and converse with someone else in a calm many.  There is no need for this kind of behavoir. God's calls me to love everyone. I struggle with this. This is not a calling but a command that must be obeyed.

Love

patient

kind

does not envy

it does not boast

keeps no record of wrongs, etc.

Things are okay but they can be better. I am person who spends my life doing music and I love playing for the ministry of music and for God. It really bothers me that I am not taken seriouly by the chapter of Intervarsity as a musician.

matt

YEAH! The Democrats have taken control over the Senate and the House of Representatives now it is awesome. Those stupid Republicans messed things up in Washington and now the Democrats have to clean up their mess. I believe the Republican party has to be the most racist, power hungry, and self controlling group of people on the face of the planet. 

So it has been a while since I have left an entry on xanga. Things are difficult and amazing at the same time. School is going well. I am learning alot and becoming a more complete student, musician, person, and man this semester. I am excited to see what is going to happen next semester.  I can not complain because I the best roommate that I have every had. My roommate Yoshi who is from Japan is awesome. He is clean, easy to get along with, respects my space. It is cool because he is a graduate student as well.  I love talking to him about my faith as a christian even though he is not a christian.  God is providing me with an chance to talk to someone else about my faith and it is amazing. I am making a crap load of friends and it is great. Everyone that I have made friends with have been such a blessing in my life right now. I am glad to be part of Intervarsity again. I regret every leaving. I left because of a girl at one time which was a stupid mistake. This mistake I will not make again. I glad that my composition lessons, recording classes, music history, and ensembles are going well besides being a part of the Intervarsity worship team.  I feel that God is moving in my life in all these areas.  With God at my side I can not lose in life. Even though I am not dating or seeing anyone right now, I am content with this because by being single this has aloud me to focus on my walk with God. If God wants a girl in my life right now he will put one. I am just really full of joy and I have not been this happy in a few years. The one thing that I must remember is just to keep my eyes and mind focused on God.

matt